As far back as I can remember, thanks to the belief of a couple of Doctors, that because of the genetic neuromuscular disorder I had been born with, having a child, would never be an option. Apparently pregnancy for me, would be fatal. Meaning, if I ever were to be found with child, it was a given, that I would require an abortion.
At the time, due to ignorance on my part, the term abortion evoked no emotional response whatsoever. As far as I understood and accepted, was that it was a simple medical method of terminating a pregnancy, comparable to any of the surgical procedures I had been undergoing. Needless to say, we just didn't dig any deeper, perhaps it was the idea the ignorance is bliss. In the 1970s - early 1980s, in our family anyway, the Physician's word was law, never to be questioned. Mere civilians were incapable of knowing anything. Remember the world wide web was non-existent at this point.
It is this mentality that may help myself and any one who cares, to understand why at fourteen, I had submitted to being used in some young man's game. By the end of my week's stay in the hospital, there I was, fourteen, and based on what I thought he did to me, thought I could be pregnant. Had such a thing happened today, criminal charges would have been laid against him.
In my case, I admit the "creeps," I encountered, seemed to have a form of radar, able to sense the desperateness for love and attention that oozed off of my person.
(See how there are so many incredible events in our lives that can be talked about, to testify to God's unfailing love and the declaration of our Sure Hope!)
Back to the story. Terrified of telling my parents that I might be pregnant and what they would think of me, it took a week to get it out. In fact, the night I couldn't hold back any more, all I could do was sob and repeat over and over through my tears, shame, guilt and fear...was,"It's the worst thing in the world, it's the worst thing in the world..." I wasn't able to spit it out, oddly enough, my insightful Mom guessed right away and then my Dad seemed to know as well. There was no yelling, basically, just a matter of fact response about "it takes two" and that if I was pregnant, I would have to have an abortion. Hearing the word abortion still evoked no emotion. The understanding that it would save my life, made it a non-issue, I suppose. Thankfully, due what I believe was God's intervention that week, the thing I thought happened, didn't and I was not in need of an abortion.
Ignorance Is Not Bliss
The nonchalant attitude about abortion then, was based on sheer ignorance and false assumptions, and that if it was to save my, then that was the justification, regardless of what the truth of abortion really was. In spite all that happened, my young life was in a downward moral spiral, and it was a very real possibility that sooner or later, I could very well end up aborting a child.
Please note that during these days, I had not been living for Jesus and was terrified of death, and in search for the meaning of life. If you have read in any previous posts, due to the neuromuscular disorder that meant no babies, I was also apparently to die at the age of twenty. Turned our, that was due to a false diagnosis and then a mis-understanding I wouldn't know about until I was about twenty three. Another contributing factor to my unstable emotional state.
Needless to say, what happened next, proves beyond doubt, that God's protective Hand so obvious, I am thankful to see it now. When we don't care about Him, He still loves us so much, He often protect us. Reflecting back, there are numerous times when things could have turned out so much worse, but certain factors, altered the scenarios that "could have been."
The Light Bulb Moment
This is to affirm that yes, there is a time and place for the use of graphic, gory images, to help spread the truth, that to abort is to murder. In my case, it was needed and God made sure I found this book. I can say beyond a doubt, that had I not and based on my emotional state, I would have easily ended up pregnant sooner or later. From that moment forward, my life changed and I would never put myself in a position like that again.
Needless to say, once I knew the truth about abortion, not even my fear of rejection, would permit me to let any male get “that far.” Well, that was until I could be what I thought was 100% protected from pregnancy. Desperate to find the "one" true love and feeling it was not helpful to say no, at the age of sixteen I convinced my parents and Doctor to permit me to have a tubal ligation, lying about my reasons of course. To me at the time, no other form of birth control would protect me, not even oral contraceptives. Needless to say, those I lied to, believed me, I had it done. It was actually the most painful procedure I ever had. Sadly, it was now as if I had license to do whatever I believed I needed to do to win the favour of a man, my immoral behavior escalated and debauchery flooded my life. Loneliness, fear and sadness pervaded and looking for love in all the wrong places, left me with guilt, shame, and a bad reputation. It would be about five years or so before God's love shone so bright, I finally surrendered my all over to Jesus Christ, along with His forgiveness, cleaning and healing. He saved my life, beyond any doubt. Boys weren't the only threat in my life...
Sharing The Truth Matters
Pass It On ...
Then there are the males who adamantly declare it is a woman's right to choose what happens to her body. Countless of them believe they are being liberal and supportive, again, no real knowledge of what really happens and what can happen.
All of us who know abortion is murder, spread the information. Not trying horrify children as this recent "Caravan" seems to be doing. But to the ones the truth will help. Save our children.
Click the Names to go to each site.
Former Abortionists Speak out
Campaign Life Coalition
Facts About Fetal Development
Gianna Jessen Abortion Survivor
Abortion Survivor Stories
Warning Very Graphic Videos of Abortions (We can't even watch-but it may be the "book" I once needed to see the truth)
Some abortion Statistics: Approximately 42 MILLION babies are aborted/murdered each year worldwide and about 114, 000 per day! Click here for more details